Funny Words (to say, to hear, to read, to use)

Note: Taken all at once, the humor is lessened. Try using a couple of these together in a sentence.
amok - in a frenzy to do violence or kill
baboon - any of several large terrestrial African and Asian monkeys of the family Cercopithecidae "especially of the genus Papio or Chaeropithecus and related genera "characterized by an elongated "doglike muzzle a short tail and bare calluses on the buttocks
bailiwick - one's special province or domain
bamboozle - to deceive by underhanded methods : DUPE, HOODWINK
- bam·boo·zle·ment
bass - any of numerous edible spiny-finned marine or freshwater fishes (especially families Centrarchidae, Serranidae, and Percichthyidae)
berserk - destructively or frenetically violent
bovicide - to kill a cow
cow - 1 a : the mature female of cattle (genus Bos) b : the mature female of various usually large animals (as an elephant, whale, or moose)
2 : a domestic bovine animal regardless of sex or age
crapulent - Surcharged with liquor; sick from excessive indulgence in liquor; drunk; given to excesses.
crepuscular - pertaining to twilight
cretin - 1 : one afflicted with cretinism
2 : a stupid, vulgar, or insensitive person : CLOD, IDIOT, LOUT
debacle - 1 : a tumultuous breakup of ice in a river
2 : a violent disruption (as of an army) : ROUT
3 a : a great disaster b : a complete failure : FIASCO
defenestrate - to throw out of a window
duck - a : any of various swimming birds (family Anatidae, the duck family) in which the neck and legs are short, the body more or less depressed, the bill often broad and flat, and the sexes almost always different from each other in plumage b : the flesh of any of these birds used as food
2 : a female duck -- compare DRAKE
3 chiefly British : DARLING -- often used in plural but sing. in constr.
elephantine - 1 a : having enormous size or strength : MASSIVE b : CLUMSY , PONDEROUS <elephantine verse>
2 : of or relating to an elephant
filch - to appropriate furtively or casually <filch a cookie>
synonym see STEAL
finagle - to obtain or achieve by indirect "usually deceitful methods
fool - 1 : a person lacking in judgment or prudence
2 a : a retainer formerly kept in great households to provide casual entertainment and commonly dressed in motley with cap, bells, and bauble b : one who is victimized or made to appear foolish : DUPE
3 a : a harmlessly deranged person or one lacking in common powers of understanding b : one with a marked propensity or fondness for something <a dancing fool> <a fool for candy>
4 : a cold dessert of pureed fruit mixed with whipped cream or custard
gerbil - any of numerous Old World burrowing desert rodents (Gerbillus and related genera) with long hind legs adapted for leaping
gerrymandering - to divide a geographic area into voting districts so as to give unfair advantage to one party in elections
gesticulate - to move the body or limbs in speaking
gnome - 1 : an ageless and often deformed dwarf of folklore who lives in the earth and usually guards treasure
2 : an elemental being in the theory of Paracelsus that inhabits earth
grackle - 1 : any of a genus (Quiscalus of the family Icteridae) of large American blackbirds having iridescent black plumage
2 : any of various Asian starlings (as the hill mynahs)
grog - liquor (as rum) cut with water
hijinks - good-humored boisterousness "frequently including mischievousness and pranks
hooligan - ruffian or hoodlum
incognito - with one's identity disguised or concealed
knees - 1 a : a joint in the middle part of the human leg that is the articulation between the femur, tibia, and patella; also : the part of the leg that includes this joint b (1) : the joint in the hind leg of a four-footed vertebrate that corresponds to the human knee (2) : the carpal joint of the foreleg of a four-footed vertebrate c : the tarsal joint of a bird d : the joint between the femur and tibia of an insect
2 : something resembling the human knee: as a : a piece of timber naturally or artificially bent for use in supporting structures coming together at an angle (as the deck beams of a ship) b : a rounded or conical process rising from the roots of various swamp-growing trees <cypress knee>
3 : the part of a garment covering the knee
4 : a blow with the bent knee
lop - to cut off something for example hair or a limb with one stroke
lugnut - large bolt assembly, often for tires
lummox - : a clumsy person
lurk -1 a : to lie in wait in a place of concealment especially for an evil purpose b : to move furtively or inconspicuously c : to persist in staying
2 a : to be concealed but capable of being discovered; specifically : to constitute a latent threat b : to lie hidden
- lurk·er noun
synonyms LURK , SKULK , SLINK , SNEAK mean to behave so as to escape attention. LURK implies a lying in wait in a place of concealment and often suggests an evil intent <suspicious men lurking in alleyways>. SKULK suggests more strongly cowardice or fear or sinister intent <something skulking in the shadows>. SLINK implies moving stealthily often merely to escape attention <slunk around the corner>. SNEAK may add an implication of entering or leaving a place or evading a difficulty by furtive, indirect, or underhanded methods <sneaked out early>.
mackerel - 1 : a scombroid bony fish (Scomber scombrus) of the No. Atlantic that is green above with dark blue bars and silvery below and is one of the most important food fishes
2 : any of a family (Scombridae) of fishes including the common mackerel; especially : a comparatively small member of this group as distinguished from a bonito or tuna
malarky - exaggerated or foolish talk "usually intended to deceive
mammoth - 1 : any of a genus (Mammuthus) of extinct Pleistocene elephants distinguished from recent elephants by highly ridged molars, usually large size, very long tusks that curve upward, and well-developed body hair
2 : something immense of its kind <the company is a mammoth of the industry>
marmot - any of a genus (Marmota) of stout-bodied short-legged chiefly herbivorous burrowing rodents with coarse fur, a short bushy tail, and very small ears -- compare WOODCHUCK
minion - an obsequious follower or dependent; a sycophant
monger -1 : BROKER , DEALER -- usually used in combination <alemonger>
2 : a person who attempts to stir up or spread something that is usually petty or discreditable -- usually used in combination <warmonger>
monkey - 1 : a nonhuman primate mammal with the exception usually of the lemurs and tarsiers; especially : any of the smaller longer-tailed primates as contrasted with the apes
2 a : a person resembling a monkey b : a ludicrous figure : DUPE
3 : any of various machines, implements, or vessels; especially : the falling weight of a pile driver
4 : a desperate desire for or addiction to drugs -- often used in the phrase monkey on one's back; broadly : a persistent or annoying encumbrance or problem
moose - 1 : a ruminant mammal (Alces alces) with humped shoulders, long legs, and broadly palmated antlers that is the largest existing member of the deer family and inhabits forested areas of Canada, the northern U.S., Europe, and Asia
2 capitalized [Loyal Order of Moose] : a member of a major benevolent and fraternal order
muffin - a quick bread made of batter containing egg and baked in a muffin pan
newt - any of various small semiaquatic salamanders (as of the genus Triturus)
nook - 1 chiefly Scottish : a right-angled corner
2 a : an interior angle formed by two meeting walls : RECESS b : a secluded or sheltered place or part <searched every nook and cranny>
pants - 1 : an outer garment covering each leg separately and usually extending from the waist to the ankle -- usually used in plural
pickle - 1 : a solution or bath for preserving or cleaning: as a : a brine or vinegar solution in which foods are preserved b : any of various baths used in industrial cleaning or processing
2 : a difficult situation : PLIGHT <could see no way out of the pickle I was in -- R. L. Stevenson>
3 : an article of food that has been preserved in brine or in vinegar; specifically : a cucumber that has been so preserved
4 British : a mischievous or troublesome person
platypus - a small carnivorous aquatic oviparous mammal (Ornithorhynchus anatinus) of eastern Australia and Tasmania that has a fleshy bill resembling that of a duck, dense fur, webbed feet, and a broad flattened tail
pocket - 1 a : a small bag carried by a person : PURSE b : a small bag that is sewed or inserted in a garment so that it is open at the top or side <coat pocket>
2 : supply of money : MEANS
3 : RECEPTACLE, CONTAINER: as a : an opening at the corner or side of a billiard table b : a superficial pouch in some animals
4 : a small often isolated area or group <pockets of unemployment>: a (1) : a cavity containing a deposit (as of gold, water, or gas) (2) : a small body of ore b : AIR POCKET
5 : a place for a batten made by sewing a strip on a sail
6 a : BLIND ALLEY b : the position of a contestant in a race hemmed in by others c : an area formed by blockers from which a football quarterback attempts to pass
7 : the concave area at the base of the finger sections of a baseball glove or mitt in which the ball is normally caught
pompous - 1 : excessively elevated or ornate <pompous rhetoric>
2 : having or exhibiting self-importance : ARROGANT <a pompous politician>
3 : relating to or suggestive of pomp : MAGNIFICENT
quip - 1 a : a clever usually taunting remark : GIBE b : a witty or funny observation or response usually made on the spur of the moment
3 : something strange, droll, curious, or eccentric : ODDITY
robber - one who robs
ruffian - : a brutal person : BULLY
rum - 1 : an alcoholic beverage distilled from a fermented cane product (as molasses)
2 : alcoholic liquor <the demon rum>
skulk - 1 : to move in a stealthy or furtive manner
2 a : to hide or conceal something (as oneself) often out of cowardice or fear or with sinister intent b chiefly British : MALINGER
synonym see LURK
skulduggery - crafty deception or trickery or an instance of it
slacks - a type of pants
sloth - 1 a : disinclination to action or labor : INDOLENCE b : spiritual apathy and inactivity <the deadly sin of sloth>
2 : any of the slow-moving arboreal edentate mammals that comprise two genera (Bradypus and Choloepus), inhabit tropical forests of So. and Central America, hang from the branches back downward, and feed on leaves, shoots, and fruits -- compare THREE-TOED SLOTH, TWO-TOED SLOTH
spatula - a flat thin usually metal implement used especially for spreading or mixing soft substances, scooping, or lifting
staple - 1 : a U-shaped metal loop both ends of which are driven into a surface to hold the hook, hasp, or bolt of a lock, secure a rope, or fix a wire in place
2 : a small U-shaped wire both ends of which are driven through layers of thin and easily penetrable material (as paper) and usually clinched to hold the layers together
swarthy - having a dark complexion or color
toes - 1 a (1) : one of the terminal members of a vertebrate's foot (2) : the fore end of a foot or hoof b : a terminal segment of a limb of an invertebrate c : the forepart of something worn on the foot <the toe of a boot>
2 : a part that by its position or form is felt to resemble a toe <the toe of Italy>: as a : a lateral projection at one end or between the ends of a piece (as a rod or bolt) b : the lowest part (as of an embankment, dam, or cliff)
- toe·less /-l&s/ adjective
- on one's toes : ALERT 1
- toe to toe : facing one another
trout - 1 : any of various salmonid food and sport fishes that are mostly smaller than the typical salmons and are anadromous or restricted to cool clear fresh waters: a : any of various Old or New World fishes (genera Salmo and Oncorhynchus) -- compare BROWN TROUT, RAINBOW TROUT b : 1CHAR
2 : any of various fishes (as the largemouth bass) held to resemble the true trouts
2 : to talk or write foolishly : BLATHER <can waffle... tiresomely off the point -- Times Literary Supplement> 3. a crisp cake of batter baked in a waffle iron
walrus - a large gregarious marine mammal (Odobenus rosmarus of the family Odobenidae) related to the seal that is found in Arctic seas, has long ivory tusks, a tough wrinkled hide, and stiff whiskers, and feeds mostly on bivalve mollusks (Note: I love how the walrus is considered "gregarious.")
weasel - 1 or plural weasel : any of various small slender active carnivorous mammals (genus Mustela of the family Mustelidae, the weasel family) that are able to prey on animals (as rabbits) larger than themselves, are mostly reddish brown with white or yellowish underparts, and in northern forms turn white in winter
2 : a light self-propelled tracked vehicle built either for traveling over snow, ice, or sand or as an amphibious vehicle
whelm - to cover with water; submerge
wombat - any of several stocky burrowing Australian marsupials (genera Vombatus and Lasiorhinus of the family Vombatidae) resembling small bears
wretch - 1 : a miserable person : one who is profoundly unhappy or in great misfortune
2 : a base, despicable, or vile person
yapok - an aquatic opossum (Chironectes minimus) of tropical America "having dense fur "webbed hind feet "and a long tail

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